Voices of experience

“I had a counsellor that I spoke to every Tuesday and it was a place I could open up about my feelings.”

“One of teachers and I had an issue where she didn’t understand how I was communicating, which caused me a lot of distress however afterwards we were able to talk and she actually listened to me and took what I said and adapted her behaviour as did I to better understand each other because of this she ended up being one of my favourite teachers at that school.”

“I go to lunch 5 minutes early so it is not as busy.”

“I have a teacher right now called Mr X who understands everything and I can tell him everything I need to and he just understands and tries to help me. He does well in keeping his distance from me but also being there when I need him which is what I want.”

“The main difference comes from the attitude of the staff to my child’s needs. They genuinely want to know and understand what is needed and they always include my child in discussions.”

“Changed to a primary school where they stopped focusing on him being a naughty kid and focused on him as a person. They addressed his needs.”

“Building safe and familiar relationships for the child, and staff deeply understanding neurodivergence.”

“No pressure from parents or school. Choice about the kind of school and the actual school to go to. A school that could meet his needs in terms of class size, academic curriculum and therapies.”

“If my child says she feels uncomfortable in school and wants to go home, school let her come home to me. They no longer tell her there is no option to go home and she has to stay there. That helps her feel like she’s not trapped there. She’s now got an ehcp so she has more support which includes one to one time and she has developed trust in this person.”

“When he was matched with a TA that understood his presentation, with the right personality, given a space outside the classroom to regulate, a low demand approach. Allowed to do work around his interests, predictable time table, flexible with what he could do at any time.”

“Complete removal of all demands including the demand to go to school. EITIS package that is focused on mental health and following interests. Removal of all busy, crowded, noisy environments. Removal of adult imposed direction, focus on collaboration with the child.”

“The SENCO works closely with us as parents and we keep in touch regularly about how our son is feeling and coping. If he has had a bad weekend or evening they catch up with him as soon as he gets to school & likewise we get an update if he has had a bad day at school.”

“Having access to the medical needs hospital education service has been invaluable. Education in core subjects has been delivered initially on a 1:1 basis and slowly increased to small group support. Being taken completely out of mainstream to rest and reset and evaluate options for future education.”

“Yes they reduced focus on learning /achievement and instead tried to focus on friendships and feeling safe, to help reduce barriers to him attending.”

“A history teacher and an English teacher, because they took the time to understand me as an individual rather than acting as if I learned and reacted the same as everyone else.”

“What works well is when schools take parental concerns on board, and work with the child and family to address why the child feels anxious to attend school without parent blame.”

“His key worker who really cared, believed in him and fought for support for him. Changes that have made a difference have been mainly around reducing stress – reduced timetable, one to one sessions in the unit, tuition at home, online learning.”

“My Head of Year in my final year and my Drama Teacher through GCSE’S were extremely helpful, they both gave support where it was needed and had an understanding of how I felt, my Drama teacher provided me with a safe space to go to when I was not doing great and my Head of Year always was available to chat and listen.”

“My new school make plans very clear and stick to their plans, take time to listen to me and try to make changes if things aren’t working, they are understanding.”

“In my current school I talked to my teachers about not wanting to be around people. They understood and tried to help me not have to have my personal space invaded but not be isolated for the duration of the entire term.”

“When my daughter finally got 1 to 1 tuition that focussed on her emotional needs and anxiety it helped her to attend for 2 hrs a week.”

“Sixth form has been a really positive experience as they have an amazing pastoral manager who will always answer phone calls/emails. And work to make things better for my child. I think if you have someone in post who understands and has empathy it really helps.”

“A sensory room was introduced which my daughter has access to at any time.”

“My history teacher is understanding and laid back, he makes it fun and he understands me more like he doesn’t draw attention to me. I don’t like attention at school.”

“Allowing time to recover, demand free. Sometimes it’s a long time, but the more you push when they’re burnt out, the longer it’s going to take for you to get them back into school if attendance is the aim. For both of my older two, it’s been 2-3 years each. Let them follow their own interests and they’ll excel.”

“Finding a specialist placement that understands his needs that doesn’t feel like a ‘school’.“

“My best friend. She is a good friend. My favourite teacher had a banjo, he was really nice teacher. He played songs on his banjo. He was more cheerful than some other teachers. He tried to make things interesting.”

“In secondary school, my biology teacher helped me get back into my classes when I couldn’t attend and would cater to my needs without question, he also wouldn’t blame me for needing these changes. He is the only teacher that made me want to learn again.”

“The best thing seems to be less demands and more empathetic listening to help solve problems.”

“Relationships and trust are key. They need that ‘go-to’ person/couple of people at school they feel they can trust and who they believe have their best interests at heart. Listening to the child when it comes to what makes them overwhelmed and what they think could help. Collaboration. Working with the child when it comes to sensory difficulties in the school environment and being educated on how different nervous systems experience things. Being educated on masking.”

“Time and energy invested by the school along with EP support. The whole staff team received training which helped them think about the ways in which they could all do their bit.”

“Being around people that understand me, both teachers and students.”

“When school organised an educational program based on her needs and she had one rest day per week, the meltdowns at home decreased enormously, she was a happy kid again and she showed a lot of improvement regarding social interaction with her peers.”

“In primary school I found it helpful that everyone was genuinely allowed to be themselves. There was no uniform, barely any rules and you were encouraged to learn how you wanted to.”

“Low demand approach, allowing the child a lot of time to recover by supporting them to follow their interests (completely removing the demand to attend school).”

“Teachers being nice to me and trying to understand me. Asking me what will help. Letting me do what I need to to not feel anxious like using fiddle toys or wearing ear defenders or not having to look at their face.”

“Animals in school have really helped me to open up and to feel comfortable. Having someone who you can always go to no matter what has happened.”

“A clear predictable plan that people follow, an understanding that some days are easier than others. Staff understanding autism. A daily schedule that incorporates sensory and movement breaks.”

“Change of environment, cultural differences in education settings, enthusiastic staff who recognised strengths and potential and used these to build trust.”

“I got a kind of 1-1 worker at high school who is nice, she’s the only person I know and trust.”