Which beliefs could be exacerbating attendance difficulties?

Young people are choosing not to go to school

Our work has highlighted that most young people would prefer to be in school but are struggling within the school environment. They reach a point where attendance is difficult due to the stress it causes, or it simply becomes impossible for them to attend.

Assuming that young people are making a choice is not only inaccurate but leads to ineffective measures being put in place to address the issue. Using punitive measures to encourage young people to ‘make the right choice’ of attending school, often increases stress for both the young person and their family. This reduces the likelihood of being able to attend in the long term as stress accumulates.

Anxious pupils need to get back to school as soon as possible because their anxiety increases the longer they do not attend

When young people are struggling to attend school, we are often told about the anxiety cycle (pictured below).

This describes the young person’s worries or anxiety about school as irrational and young people therefore need to be encouraged back into school as soon as possible. There is a fear that ‘the longer they are out of school, the worse their anxiety will get’ (using the same logic as for a phobia linked to an irrational fear). However, this does not acknowledge the effect of attending an anxiety inducing environment and its impact on a young person’s mental health. Young people describe wanting to be at school, and their non-attendance as a last resort; a logical and understandable response when their needs are not met (Corcoran & Kelly, 2022).

“Forcing them into school was … something I will regret for the rest of my life.”

“Had they taken seriously what our child had told them he may not have gotten to a point where he tried to take his own life. Even then they still tried to force him back to school. He needed time to recover and instead was pushed to such an extent that he felt suicide was the only way out of his situation. I was told to make home life uncomfortable so that school would be more appealing.”

Home should be made less desirable

A common element of guidance used to improve attendance includes the exploration of what are termed as ‘push and pull factors’.

Push factors are those that push the young person towards attending school and pull factors are those that pull them away from attending school. The aim is then to outweigh the push factors against the pull factors with an assumption that this will increase attendance.

As a result of this, families can be advised to reduce enjoyable activities and other desirable parts of being at home for the young person in order to ‘push’ them into school.

This can remove the only safe space the young person has, leaving them feeling vulnerable, significantly increasing their levels of stress and also creating an adversarial parent/child relationship. The psychological impact of this strategy can make school attendance more challenging as the young person no longer has a safe foundation from which to build upon.

A lack of discipline/parenting is the cause

Families have shared they often feel blamed or judged for their child’s difficulties with attendance, when they are often trying their best. Many parents care deeply about their child’s education and want them to succeed; however, they can be perceived as not trying hard enough.

We have heard about the impact on families (with young people who are not attending school) when negative assumptions are made around parenting:

“I wish they saw my defiance meant that I was struggling. I was completely different at home”

“They should not have suggested we be firm and force him in. We followed this advice unfortunately and it caused severe trauma and trust issues.”

“The thing that caused the most distress to my son was being treated like he was being naughty for being too anxious to attend school”

There is a common scenario in which young people appear “fine in school” but are struggling at home. When parents report this, they are often told it is a parenting issue and/or can be asked to attend parenting classes which focus on managing behaviour.

However, appearing ‘fine in school’ but very different when at home, is often a sign that a young person doesn’t feel the necessary levels of safety to express their discomfort and difficulties within the school environment (masking/fawning). Their stress is then expressed within the place that feels most safe to do so (for many this is once at home). Rather than this being a reflection of an issue around parenting, it is a reflection of the young person’s experience of the school environment.